Child Psychologist, Wollongong

In preteens this can look like: circular worries, troubles sleeping, withdrawal from favourite hobbies or friends, reluctance to separate from parents, difficulties growing out of traditional childhood fears (e.g., the dark, monsters), attempts to avoid school, or repeated complaints of sickness (which isn’t explained by medical issues).

Although “official” diagnoses in this age group are rare, this category includes diagnoses such as depression, generalised or social anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder or adjustment disorder.

Some boundary pushing is normal for kiddos, but when it starts to be repetitive, interfere with other parts of their life, represents a noticeable difference from their normal personality and is accompanied by big emotions, it’s time to pay more attention. 

This can look like defiance, refusal to follow instructions or disregard for rules. Often a telltale sign of other underlying things e.g., anxiety issues, peer problems, attention difficulties, or learning issues. It’s common for these things to “fly under the radar” in primary school,  but then emerge in the more demanding high school environment.

Friendships can change rapidly from primary to high school. There are more people, new faces, new alliances and new dramas. Some preteens take to this bigger world with amazing confidence, whereas others do not. Schools or teachers are often the first one’s to give feedback to a family that perhaps something is amiss in this area. And that’s usually when we get a call. 

This area often overlaps with mood/anxiety problems, but includes issues with peer conflict, difficulties navigating friendships and low interpersonal skills. Sometimes also an indicator of neurodiversity that hasn’t been picked up in early school years.

Unfortunately raising teenagers does not come with an instruction manual and as the teenager’s emotional world becomes more complex, so do the requirements of parenting. Setting limits and managing misbehaviour is just as important as when they were toddlers, but now it’s a whole new game ft. hormones.  Bigger kids, bigger problems right? 

Sometimes as a parent, it's nice to have someone on your team helping you through it. We can help families get things back on track and realign back to their parenting goals.

Sometimes young people with neurodiverse brains need extra help coping with the new demands of teenage-hood. Think things like organising themselves for school, maintaining focus in class, developing skills in independent learning, adjusting to change or managing bigger peer networks. Sometimes school refusal can also come into play here…which can be a real tricky thing to manage. It requires a lot of patience and support, but don’t worry because we’ve done it a thousand times before. 

This area covers official diagnoses such as ADHD/ADD or Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Sometimes bad and unfair things happen to little people and although some seem to “bounce back” or “handle it fine” others get stuck on it. Processing loss, grief and complex trauma in preteens requires a thorough knowledge of adolescent development and a very compassionate clinician. Parents often find themselves at a loss of what to say next or how to help and that’s where we can help. 

This area covers things like coping with divorce, family conflict, loss of loved ones, chronic illness, or abuse and assault.